4 Things you can buy for the price of a Mayweather vs. Pacquiao Ticket

By now it is common knowledge that tickets to the upcoming Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight don’t come cheap.  In fact, the May 2nd bout is likely the most expensive fight to attend in the history of boxing.  With an average ticket price of give or take $4,000, if the match goes a full twelve rounds/36 minutes it would cost about $111 a minute to watch.  And this is likely a discount nosebleeds section rate. 

$4,000 dollars for no more than 36 minutes of action.  Maybe even less if someone knocks someone out.  A knock out 6 rounds in would double the price per minute – a cost that could only be justified with no less than 12 minutes of clandestine ringside Kardashian-spotting.  They travel in herds; you can definitely get some extra bang for your buck.

But for those of you who prefer to spend their hard-earned cash money on things more enduring than boxing and Kardashian-spotting, below are four long term investments that may better suit you:

  1. 114.44 Philips Sonicare Electric Toothbrushes

Why have one when you can have 114.44?  With it’s soft grip handle design and reported 2x better plaque removal than a lowly manual toothbrush, this investment is likely to render a lifetime of excellent oral hygiene.  Ships in certified frustration-free packaging for those with short fuses or hyper children. Bonus!

  1. 662.25 six-foot feather boas

They say feather boas are man’s best friend, providing unique, personal flair to notable figures throughout history.  Why have six feet when you can have 3,973 feet?  That’s over a kilometer of feather boa. Fabulous!

  1. 200 Zeagoo Men’s Faux Leather Pants

Imagine you and 199 of your closest friends dancing in these bad boys to Robbie Williams.  The ultimate pants party!  Just remember these synthetic leather fashion pants are only supplied in “Asian sizes” which are reportedly “two times smaller than yours”, fatty. 

  1. 473 bottles of Taco Bell Bold & Creamy, Spicy Ranchero Sauce

Weighing in at 8 ounces each, 473 bottles of this sauce with a really long name combine perfectly with tortilla chips.  Also, they’re accused of adding flavor to your tacos.  Either way, 3,784 ounces of this stuff is sure to zest up your next Superbowl fiesta or disinfect all the surfaces in your house for the next 35 years.  That’s thinking outside the bun!