Our main man, Kim Jong Un, has been sticking it to running dogs of capitalism and fashionistas ever since his ascension to Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea in 2011.
Kim’s taste isn’t your typical human-rights-violating, failed-state, autocrat-chic typically associated with rogue nations and brutal dictators. In true Jong-un style, Kim’s hot lewks make flaunting international sanctions invented under absurd pretexts seem absolutely effortless!
It might be a little extreme to wear a total socialist worker’s paradise look like Kim does, but if it’s absolute power and exploitation of the masses you seek, there’s nothing else to wear this summer.
So here’s a few tips to help you turn your hot summer 2015 season into a sea of fire!
1) Let it hang loose!
I love how Kim rocks his distinct baggy pants look. He totally owns it. They said Kim would be filling some big pants succeeding his father Kim Jong Il, but Kim took it all in stride and offed his uncle. I mean, who saw that coming? Those big pants are definitely hiding some bigger balls! Whatever size you wear, be sure to put XXX in front it this summer.
2) Wear it 3 sizes too big!
Kim’s lewk proves that you don’t have to sacrifice comfort for fashion. Buying big has seen Kim attract the attention and admiration of notable capitalist overlords like Talking Heads singer David Byrne.
3) Consider a cane!
Kim turned a crippling case of gout into Fall 2014’s the sexiest man trend ever! Trends come and go, but one thing will always remain true – if you’re looking to shore up support from top military cadres, get a cane!
4) Add buttons for unique flair!
Pins, buttons, and patches are the perfect exclamation point for outfits like Kim’s. Kim likes to go a bit orthodox on this one, usually choosing a red piece with his grandpa’s image emblazoned on its face. For cocktail parties or political executions Kim is rumored to favor a piece with both is dad and grandpa. Fashion is all about filial piety!
5) Get a pleasure troupe!
Nothing says “status” better than a beautiful woman on your shoulder. Nothing screams “status” like a pleasure troupe.